Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Some Men Really Are Scum

(WARNING: This post contains a LARGE amount of profanity. If you are put off by profanity, I do suggest that you skip this one.) *Also, I do realize that no one is perfect, certainly not myself, and that understanding and grace are important in the world. This post is not directed at any one person nor am I trying to make anyone feel guilty. Tonight, however, my blood is boiling, so here goes:

I'm not sure where to begin. Many years ago, like 10, I used to come home from my bartending gig, get drunk on vanilla vodka and diet coke, and write bitter diatribes on a blogsite that I have long since deleted. I was lonely, I was angry at the faith that I grew up with, and I wanted attention.

I've changed a lot since those times. Though I still get lonely and get angry at the faith I once believed in, I have generally calmed my language and veracity, as well as the frequency of such writings. In recent years I have also written on this blog a bit about my own abuse as a child and teenager which I received from my father. My entry called "When You Cannot Honour Thy Father Or Thy Mother" comes to mind. Tonight's entry comes after hearing of other men whose behaviour is appalling, and while my experiences with my father are not far from my mind, he is not primarily why I am writing this. Also, for one entry at least, I release some anger and refrain from reigning in very off-colour language. So let me begin.

We've all heard the sweeping generalization that "all men are assholes" or "all men are pigs." Often in the past when I have heard a woman say this, either in person or on TV, I would roll my eyes or get frustrated because I'M NOT AN ASSHOLE! (Well, at least not most of the time.) But increasingly as I hear women tell their stories of abuse and broken relationships, I concur more and more that, yes, a lot of men are real pricks and they deserve to be called out as such.

There are the obvious examples of bullshittery:

a) A guy loves having sex with his girlfriend, but the moment she gets pregnant he leaves her (perhaps he sticks around for a few weeks so that he doesn't come across as such an asshole.)

b) After 25 years of marriage, a man leaves his iPhone on the dinner table, leaves the room, and upon receiving an SMS, his wife glances at the phone, only to read the sext from his 20 year old "administrative assistant."

c) A man takes his wife to the emergency room, leaves her there, and she explains to the doctor that she fell down the stairs again, knowing that telling the truth could literally kill her.

There are so many more examples of dumbfuckery that give the male gender a bad name. Dads that tell their kids that they love them, yet are always yelling at them or missing all of their hockey practices. Men who are so insecure that they go bananas if they catch "their woman" even looking at another man, let alone talking to them. Bastards that don't pay child support. Monsters who, instead of providing safety and supporting arms, strike their partner for not having dinner on the table on time. Men who leave all the childrearing to the mother. Perhaps even worse are the "men" who know that they have a problem(s), but refuse to go to counseling. Dimwits who seem incapable of going 3 words without saying "fuckin'," "bitch," or "you-fill-in-the-blanks-here."

There are men who, though most of them would never admit it, effectively love their trucks, guns, golfclubs, and plasma-screen TV's more than they love their girlfriend/wife.

Hmm...end of rant? Maybe.

Of course I realize that there are most often reasons for this kind of behaviour. We weren't loved properly as a child, maybe we are stressed about employment and money. Well in that case, especially the first one, YOU SHOULD KNOW BETTER, DIPSHIT. There are legitimate reasons that some men grow up to be miserable examples of human beings, but THERE ARE NO EXCUSES to keep perpetuating the behaviour. For God's sake, swallow your pride and get help.

And if you can't do that, then get out of the picture. Because from my experience, no husband or father is better than having one of the capital P Prick variety. So much damage is done.

Be a man. Women deserve so much more.

Feel free to pass this on.

Mark Andrew Nouwen