Thursday, October 25, 2012

Laying Aside The Drama On A Perfect Autumn Day

4:00pm - Victoria Park, Kitchener, Ontario
Music: Bonnie Raitt - Slipstream, Joni Mitchell - Blue

It has been a glorious afternoon. It is 4pm and for the last almost-three hours I have been planted on this park bench in Victoria Park, with the great clocktower in sight and a couple kids kicking a ball around. Earlier, policemen on the horseback unity paraded around the open field. I'm almost 60 pages into a book I've never fully read through.

It is often very hard to truly enjoy the simple, good things in life around you when you are ill or when you have a lot of drama in your life.

There is a difference between illness and drama; sometimes they are inter-linked , sometimes they are not. In any case, I've seen both in my life. And when illness or drama is around, it's hard to enjoy the little things. I've written a lot about illness, so I think I'll pass on that today. For these illnesses we often need therapy and medications.

But then there are dramas, like patterns or relationships that we've fallen into for months or years, and they prevent us from being in the present moment. And we miss a lot.

We miss a lot when we're obsessed with thinking "does she like me or doesn't she like me" (for God's sake man, get it over with and either ask her or plant a kiss on her good and hard and get it over with). We miss a lot when we spend 15 minutes in the morning wondering whether "that sweater makes me look fat."  We miss a helluva lot when we wonder if what we said to our friend the night before was appropriate or not.

Drama, drama, and....wait for it....

More drama!

Today I am able to look around the open, spacious park, and a gust of wind will come up and blow golden fallen leaves across the pathway in ways that the leaves will never be blown again, and with a gust that will never again be blown quite the same way in quite the same place.

I look at the tree closest to me (pictured) and its rustic coloured leaves make me want to cherish it because I'll only see this once a year; I am comforted to now they'll be back next year.

I want to be as fully present as I can right now  here on this bench, in this park, on this perfect day.