Thursday, May 13, 2010

Stream of Consciousness

Decaf coffee can be really good; this is quite shocking to me. I'm enjoying one at the Huether at the moment, after having breakfast and a Javanilla (caffeinated) coffee. It is one of those days outside where you're not sure whether to put up your umbrella or not. Barely spitting out. So do you allow yourself to be spat upon slightly, or do you look like a wuss and put up the umbrella? Not that it really matters what other people think, does it?

I just had a stretch of 5 days off and had a good time. Last Friday I sang 2 jazz standards at my church (I've Got Rhythm and Embraceable You.) That went very well, and I had 4 friends come to hear me, which was very nice, it meant a lot to me. Then we hung out at McDonalds afterward. I was completely overdressed, decked out in my black suit. At least I didn't have a tie on.

Saturday I went home to Tillsonburg and had a good time with my Mom and brother Dave and Lauretta and Rachael and Joshua. We went to my Aunt Donna's 60th birthday party. It was good to spend time with some cousins that I don't see very often (that would be you Keala and Andi.)

Sunday my Mom and I went to the church I grew up in, and it was kind of neat that John Brearley and family were leading worship. Then Mom and I went to Swiss chalet for lunch (chicken and shrimp - yum) and we visited my Grandma's and Aunt Darlene's gravesites as well.

Monday my Mom had a job interview in St. Thomas so we went there, and did some shopping at the huge WalMart there. Then Sharon, Ben, my Mom and I made the trip back to Kitchener. All in all a good time off.

It strikes me again that there is nothing that we have to do in order to prove ourselves worthy of love. I think that so many people base their self-worth on what they have accomplished, but what happens when those accomplishments run out or one isn't capable of doing them anymore? No, our satisfaction has to come from who we are. We are simply and wonderfully Love itself being born into the world to experience life and to love others. It isn't easy to live this way, because so many things distract us and tempt us to believe the lie that it is what we do that defines us. What is the deepest yearning of our hearts? One of mine is that simply I Am OK. There is nothing wrong. We get pulled away from this when we define ourselves by our accomplishments, and also when we lose sight of the present moment and start remembering the past or worrying about our future. But right now, right in this moment, you and I are ok. And what's more, we are wonderful creations, nothing less than God, Love being born into the world. We tap into who we really are when we love others and ourselves.

I hope your day is going well, my friends.

Mark Andrew