Saturday, May 29, 2010

On Creating Yourself

"Remember, you are constantly in the act of creating yourself. You are in every moment deciding who and what you are. You decide this largely through the choices you make regarding who and what you feel passionate about."

- Neale Donald Walsch

I partially agree with this, that life is ours to take by the horns and live it. Our choices matter. But I also believe in being led. When I was a Christian, I believed that God led us down a path, and it was important to rely on His guidance. And though my beliefs about who and what God is have changed a lot over the last 5 or 6 years, I still believe that God leads us, and that we should ask God to lead us. As we pray or state our desires to God, God works with those and leads us. It is a nice thought that in every moment we are deciding who and what we are, but what of the times when we are in the dark and can not make those decisions without great anguish. These are the times I believe that we can throw our hands up in the air, both in exasperation and in trust, like the trust a child has in its father or mother to pick her up and carry her. On a few occasions I have had the good fortune of feeling like I am being led by God, or as I prefer to call it, Life or Love. Events happen that are just too much to be merely coincidental. A friend contacts me just at the right time. A song comes into my head that I needed to hear at a particular moment.

I have said in the past that I believe that we as humans are no less than a part of God being born into the world to experience life on earth; to hear, to see, to touch. So I believe that we are God. At the same time I believe that God is more than us, more than we can understand, but She always has the best for us at heart. God is behind the scenes and at the forefront of our lives, orchestrating things for us. It is our job to trust, and also to ask things of God and expect an answer. As many people have suggested, that answer may look a lot different than what we expected or wanted, but She will answer.

I have a distinct feeling right now of being caught, of being held by God. When things are uncertain, we can take value in our place within God, and be glad that God is working on our behalf to bring about what should happen in our lives. Here, trust is key. Yes, trust in ourselves and our ability to make decisions, but also trust in God, that He will bring about for us what we need in our lives.